Marcie Lane remembers the excruciating pain of losing her husband. Master Corporal Scott Vernelli was a career soldier, committed to the cause of the Canadian Armed Forces to bring peace and stability to people around the world and he repeatedly volunteered for missions. In Afghanistan, he would lose his life, only six months after he and Lane had welcomed their first child into the world.
The couple had met while they were both in uniform. Lane was a photojournalist, working under the direction of former Chief of Defence Staff Rick Hillier when she connected with Vernelli at a banquet in Ottawa. Soon, they were dating and making plans to begin a life together. That plan moved ahead when Lane landed a posting to Garrison Petawawa.
(Scott Vernelli and Marcie Lane hold their infant daughter Olivia)
By early 2008, Lane was pregnant. The soon-to-be parents looked forward to the arrival of their daughter, while Vernelli trained for his third tour of duty to Afghanistan, a mission to a war-torn country that had already cost many Canadian lives.
Canada had joined other nations in Afghanistan in the aftermath of the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. Ironically, Olivia Vernelli would arrive on the seventh anniversary of the day the World Trade Centre crumbled to the ground in New York City.
Vernelli would leave for his final deployment to Afghanistan, 12 days after the birth of his little girl. Over the Christmas holidays, Vernelli was able to come home. Lane put her photography skills to work, capturing special family moments. It would be the last time Lane would spend time with her husband.
(Master Corporal Scott Vernelli in Afghanistan)
On March 20, 2009, only a few weeks before his scheduled return to Canada, Vernelli and another Canadian soldier were killed in action by an improvised explosive device while on a foot patrol. Vernelli was only 28 years old.
The tragedy left Lane broken. As she grieved the loss of her partner, she became angry and then depressed. “There were days I wanted to kill myself. The grief was so blinding and debilitating,” says Lane who remembers breaking down in a grocery store, feeling rage and pain that dropped her to her knees as she watched other military families in the store.
Unable to cope, she eventually reached out to a grief counsellor, an opportunity that was available to her through the Canadian Armed Forces. Gradually, Lane tried to get her life back on track. She accepted a posting to CFB Borden, but living away from her family with a young child was tough and her mental health again declined.
It was exercise and fitness that helped her turn her life around. As she began working out, her mood improved and she regained her confidence. When she left the military, she enrolled in a Fitness and Health program at Georgian College and then in 2018 found work with the Canadian Armed Forces Morale and Welfare Services in Gagetown, New Brunswick.
(Wearing her Algonquin College convocation gown, Marcie Lane stands with her Father, Harry Lane; daughter Olivia Vernelli; and Mother, Bonnie Farrell at the Fallen Soldier Monument at Garrison Petawawa on Sunday, June 26.)
It was a dream job. She was happy to be engaged again in a military community, helping soldiers stay fit, but three months later, after she and her daughter had driven halfway across the country to allow her to start a new position, she was on her way back to Petawawa. Lane was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. It was devastating news.
She knew she needed to be closer to family, so she and Olivia returned to Petawawa as she began cancer treatments. She lost her hair, shed some tears, often felt very tired and struggled emotionally with whether she would be able to beat the cancer. As she reflected on her life, she questioned why such horrible things had happened to her. But, she was about to have an awakening as her illness brought her face to face with someone who would become a soul sister.
The turning point for Lane came when she was lying in a hospital bed in Ottawa undergoing treatments for her cancer. She had a roommate who was facing the same battle and the two women bonded quickly, referring to themselves as “pink sisters,” but their socioeconomic status was very different.
The woman that Lane was drawing strength from while they simultaneously experienced the side effects of chemotherapy was on the verge of being homeless. She had given up her job while she was undergoing treatment, she had no health care benefits and the loss of an income left her with no money to pay rent and in danger of losing her vehicle.
“Nobody came to visit her. She often tossed and turned at night, not entirely caused from being ill after a day of gruelling treatment, but because she was grappling with how she would survive if she did survive,” reflects Lane.
By contrast, Lane had the support of her parents and her daughter who often visited her in hospital and took care of her family pets while she focussed on getting better. She couldn’t help but think that life was unfair. She thought about those who had helped her in her darkest days and found her calling. She wanted to be a social worker.
Lane had joined the army in 2000, following in the footsteps of her father, Harry Lane. During basic training, she kept a photo of her father in the inside pocket of her military fatigues. In the photo, her father is curled up in his military sleeping bag, exhausted after a hard day’s work in the field. Scribbled on the back of the well-weathered photo, was a message from her Dad that always inspired her. It said, “Quitting is not an option.”
Marcie Lane is definitely not a quitter. She has experienced the raw pain that life can sometimes deliver and has overcome a life-threatening illness. She takes life one day at a time and works hard to help others, including helping her daughter learn about the father she never knew.
(Marcie Lane’s daughter, cadet Olivia Vernelli, salutes at the Fallen Soldier Memorial at Garrison Petawawa, while Marcie and her parents look at the memorial)
Master Corporal Scott Vernelli is buried at Beechwood, Canada’s National Military cemetery. On Father’s Day, Marcie and Olivia stood at his gravesite. Olivia wore a cadet uniform. Marcie brought a graduation gown. It was an emotional but beautiful private moment, one that mourned the loss of a husband and father, but also celebrated Olivia following in her parent’s military path and Marcie’s recent graduation from Algonquin College.
Last fall, Olivia became an Army Cadet with the 3rd division of the Royal Canadian Regiment, embracing the family’s military tradition and joining the same regiment that her Dad had served in. A few weeks ago, Marcie walked across the stage at the Pembroke Memorial Centre, an Honours graduate of Algonquin College’s Social Service Worker program, a credential she earned during a worldwide pandemic. She also received the W.T. Eldon Craig Memorial Award for “Most Outstanding Graduate of the Social Service Worker Program.”
But, it’s not the end of Lane’s educational journey. She has recently been admitted to a Bachelor of Indigenous Social Work Degree program at Laurentian University. She will begin her university studies this coming fall.
Lane’s story is still being written, but her response to tragedy is what has driven her to help others. The “pink sister” she met while staring down cancer remains her inspiration. She’ll never forget her, nor her husband who died a Canadian hero. She has found a way forward, demonstrating that “we can all overcome adversity and succeed in life.” That’s the message she will carry forward in her career as a social worker.
Posted by Jamie Bramburger, Manager of Community and Student Affairs at the Pembroke Waterfront Campus
