Roommate Guide

You can start communicating with your roommate before you even arrive!

In the weeks leading up to move-in, you will receive your roommate’s email. It’s a good idea to reach out and start chatting early on. You can start to get to know each other and discuss who will bring key items like a shower curtain, that way you don’t end up with double!

It may also make move-in day feel more natural. Since you’ve already been chatting, you can skip some of the awkward first meeting nervous energy!

Once you’ve moved in and have started getting settled, it’s a good idea to lay the groundwork for healthy living in a shared space. If you’ve already started to get to know your roommate and things are going well, great! If not, that’s okay too!

Either way, there are steps you can take now to set you and your roommate up for success!

Discuss your needs and responsibilities, then fill out your roommate agreement!

It’s important to have open and honest conversations early about expectations for cleaning, sharing belongings, and other day-to-day things.

Filling out your roommate agreement, which you can find in your Housing Portal, is the best way to start having those conversations and putting the results in writing. Be sure to take some time to go through the agreement together, so that you avoid miscommunications that may come up by doing it separately.

You may also want to create a shared cleaning schedule early to help build good habits!

The first step in addressing concerns with a roommate should always be to talk to them directly. Be sure to approach these conversations with an open mind and a commitment to working things out. 

Approaching your roommate in good faith is the most important thing. Assuming the worst about each other will make a positive resolution impossible. You would be amazed at how much of a difference your mindset makes in addressing conflict!

Before you chat with your roommate, understand what your needs are and think about different ways those needs could be met. For example, if you and your roommate both want to shower in the morning, then commit to exploring different solutions instead of only expecting that you be the one who gets priority. If you show to your roommate you care about their needs, they will likely care about yours in return! Focus on any ideas you have to meet your needs and theirs at the same time. 

Although some conflict is inevitable, it can still be uncomfortable and difficult to navigate. Your roommate probably feels the same way! Once the initial discomfort passes and your concerns are discussed openly, honestly, and respectfully, you’re likely to find a solution.

Keep these things in mind when you chat with your roommate:

1. Approach them at a time that works well for both of you.
2. Let them know honestly that you have some concerns you would like to address.
3. Re-assure them that it is important to you that both of your needs are met.
4. Be specific about the “what” and “when” of your concerns.
   • Avoid saying: “You never clean.”
   • Instead, you can say: “In the last week, there were two times when your dishes were not done for a whole day, which is longer than we agreed in the roommate agreement.”
5. Be kind about the issue, focussing on the conflict and how it impacts you.
   1. Avoid saying: “You are a gross person.”
   2. Instead, you can say: “I want to figure out a system that works for both of us because when the dishes start to smell, it makes me uncomfortable.”
6. Revisiting your roommate agreement is a great way to navigate any conflict that comes up. You can offer to revise it together and find something new that will work for both of you. You can add, remove, or change things to get to a new agreement that works well for you both!

The most important thing is to approach this conversation with an open mind and assume you can reach a resolution!

The next step is to talk to your Resident Advisor (RA). Your RA can provide you with more coaching on how to approach the conflict. They can also sit down with you and your roommate together to facilitate a conversation

This meeting will usually involve re-visiting and revising the roommate agreement to update it based on both you and your roommate’s needs. It’s important that you give some thought to what you want to suggest be changed in the roommate agreement and even talk through some of these things with your roommate in advance if possible

Your RA will not solve the conflict for you, but they will help guide the conversation and maintain a comfortable neutral space to discuss.  

Whether or not the RA’s support is helpful, is often up to you and your roommate. Continuing to keep an open mind, approach conversations in good faith, being honest about your concerns, and following what you commit to, are the most important things you both can do!

If you have talked to your roommate directly and worked with your RA, but still have some concerns, that’s okay!

The next step is to schedule a meeting with your Residence Life Coordinator (RLC). You can schedule a meeting with them here or fill out our contact form.